she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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