i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
