was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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