I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
