Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Randomize
