Do you still have your period?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
They took my balls.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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