Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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