fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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