Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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