Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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