when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
