Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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