She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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