ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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