id be glad to
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He told me they were just razor bumps!
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
