we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
