Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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