she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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