Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
