I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
