We're facebook friends in real life
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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