i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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