I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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