bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
