those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
This is the high leading the old right now
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
