Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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