dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
