I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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