The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
