Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
