The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
