Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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