Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Dignity is for republicans.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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