happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
