what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
