I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
