I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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