I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
This baby is an asshole
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
