Someone shit on the floor
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
