I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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