"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
