dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize