Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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