Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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