oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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