Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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