It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
