she peed on how many people?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
