if i died would you start the facebook group?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
