i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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