There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
