I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
