yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
