Swine flu. Run for my life!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
