I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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