I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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