Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
