Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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