Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
