Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
