Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
