honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize