i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize