Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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