i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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