he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
we're so committed to being not committed
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
