Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize