I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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